September 21, 2005 | Filed under: Uncategorized
Oh, my doggie is not well. Not well at all. This picture is of a cute canine moment where she is relaxing in the sunshine streaming through the window of my apartment. What’s funny about it is that I live on the first floor and only get a narrow shaft of natural light between 3:30pm and 3:56pm (DST), and only when it is exceptionally bright out. It is just enough to warm up the wood floor, not even enough to cover her 85-lb frame, and has always been a favorite nap spot. I cannot imagine what it might be like not to trip over her as I try to get to the telephone table under the window.
Since that first trip to the vet two weeks ago, when this sick-dog venture began, I have been in some sort of bizarre denial that it could be very, very bad. When vets started throwing words around like “lymphoma” and “biopsy”, it sort of stunned me into inaction. I realized when I woke up this morning that in the last two weeks I had not once–not once–looked up canine lymphoma on the internet. I’m not sure I can hammer home how insane that really is for me:
The internet is my personal oracle. I look up EVERYTHING on the internet. Recipes, travel directions, new Frye styles for 2005, news clips, song lyrics, classic comic book prices. I’ve been known to get out of bed in the middle of the night and switch on the computer because I can’t remember the name of the drummer from Culture Club. What prevented me from investigating doggie cancer? I suppose I just didn’t want to know. She didn’t seem to be in any kind of pain (although, now post-biopsy, she looks mighty uncomfortable and I’m getting some meds from the vet) so I think I just allowed myself to pretend that some antibiotics would shrink down her golf-ball sized lymph nodes. They didn’t.
So now there’s just the post-biopsy waiting; test results, to treat or not to treat, that sort of thing. I used to think that not knowing was the very worst part, but now that I actually forced myself to do some research, I know that’s not true. There are far worse things that waiting.
September 22, 2005
@ 2:50 pm
I hope the results come back with good news. I have been there before. A sick pet is a terrible thing to go through.
On the topic of the internet as your oracle…I am the same. Lately I’ve been particularly bad; jumping from hurricane everything to local Houston tv stations, to Rosie to INXS to every international news outlet going…I am afraid that I am totally out of control. My husband thinks I have gone completely internet crazy lately.
September 25, 2005
@ 2:15 pm
I am with you. My guess is that you avoided your usual research because it’s tough to face (although Googled old photos of Culture Club are likely pretty bad, too.
I wish you good luck with your pup. They are just like our kids, so I know how worried you must be right now.
September 28, 2005
@ 9:09 pm
good luck with the dog. That is really rough. You would be surprised how resilient they are. Hang in there.
September 29, 2005
@ 10:27 am
Hey MissB!
Came here grom Kris’ blog.
I hope your results end up showing something that is easy to fix.
She deserves the best, of course.
And the best is that she gets better.
As for New ork needing another documentarian..
Bravo!
You’re an excellent writer.
Cheers,
Jorge
September 29, 2005
@ 12:07 pm
Wow, I hope your dog gets better. My dog’s been through all types of ailments too. He’s been pretty resilient through it all as well. Keep a good heart and positive attitude. My dog sends his love too.
September 29, 2005
@ 12:47 pm
I agree with Jorge — got here the same way and will definitely be checking back. Best of luck to you and your sweet fur person.
October 2, 2005
@ 1:02 pm
Hi, I wish the result come back OK, with good news I hope. I’ts always better to know, at least that way you “know” whats coming…
Yeah, the internet is a great place to find stuff… I use it all the time now. Sometimes my wife and I have a conversation about some one or somewere, and we have to llok for it to knwo who is sayign the truth…. a great way to learn about anything. Oh, and the wikipedia is terrific for looking for anything…
October 4, 2005
@ 12:40 pm
Hi,
SO sorry to hear about your sick pup. We just lost our little kitty Sabby to kidney failure/brain tumor this past saturday -so sad.
I hope the results come back ok for you and your baby is back healthy again soon!
~Healing thoughts your way~